I have always liked to believe in subtlety. Anything too out there was vulgar, be it emotions or that unnecessary bling. There was a (subtle) judgement I had about that sort of attitude and therefore a superiority in all things subtle. I am not sure I want to stay hidden anymore. While the less is more way of life may work for some, at this point in life, I’d rather go all out and leave nothing to the imagination of others.
Say it as it is. I want to be more direct because I can’t be bothered using those extra ten words to say the same thing but seem more polite. Besides, most of the people I have met in life don’t understand subtle like vegetarians don’t understand meat. So I find my words too open to interpretation and as expected, the interpretation is always a more warped and unimaginative version.
Don’t appeal to the wider audience. Inspite of better judgement, at times I have done things in order to not exactly ‘please’, but to ‘accommodate’ a wider audience. I’ve dumbed down, smiled pleasantly when someone shared a ‘why all husbands are so fed up with their wife’ genre joke, and dressed like the crowd. The wider audience is not worth pleasing or bending backwards for. Whether you are catering to a crown of 10 or a 100, there will always be those who criticise. It’s most important to appeal to yourself.
Never stop experimenting. The problem with being ‘too subtle’ or ‘too loud’ or too much of any one thing means you have to leave out the chance of being all the others things you can be. The issue with that is that time is limited and there are only so many experiences in life to be gathered and enjoyed. Whether it’s the way you dress or the way you talk, experiment. So what if your legs are not toned or your butt looks too big in shorts, wear it anyways. There’s only one life but there doesn’t have to be just one you.
Skip the pleasantries. It’s nice to be nice but sometimes I’d really rather not. Specially when you have to hear people talk about other people and just be polite and add two bits to the conversation to look involved, or when you have to hear perfectly privileged people cry about petty family issues, or worse when mothers can’t stop talking about how her child has magically learnt the iPad and oh it’s so horrible but what a genius he must be. Sometimes it’s best to excuse yourself, visit the washroom and call your parents instead.
So to conclude, whatever I may decide to be tomorrow, I will not be subtle about it. I will go all out. Whether I am a mother, or a professional, or a working mother, or a girl having a lunch with her peeps, I will do it in style, own it fearlessly and be unapologetic about who I am at that very moment in time.
At 30, these are a few of my learnings. Being unapologetic is being beautiful. But being unapologetic about who you are, along with being kind, is just gorgeous. xx